I Still Don't Have a Reason
by KiKiCohen
Summary: Addison is forced to alter her lifestyle when she is faced with tragedy. Although Derek left her for Meredith, she still grabbed onto the one person that meant the world to her.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, bummer.**

**A/N: I've never written fan-fiction for Grey's Anatomy, but I love it to death. Please don't eat me or anything, thanks. This takes place in the middle of Season three. ADDEK!**

**-----**

Addison Montgomery had learned not to be an optimist. Five years ago she was unstoppable, the world was perfect for her. She was glamourous, she appeared on covers of Medical digest magazines and had the perfect marriage. How she missed her relationship with Derek. She had never thought of herself as a bad person, a cheater, and she had NEVER imagined herself as divorced.

To top it off, it was a bad day. Addison walked down the hall of Seattle Grace hospital, barely being able to keep her balance on her black Gucci heels. She sometimes wondered if she was an ice-queen, but usually shrugged off the thought. Her head had been throbbing on and off all week, and she hadn't been able to stomach much in the way of food. Her equilibrium was offset and she had been exhausted.

She assumed it was the flu, or stress. It hadn't been a good few months. From the discovery of Meredith Grey's panties hanging on the bulletin board, or the realization that her husband really didn't want her back into his arms, Addison groaned. She knew nothing was seriously wrong, she just assumed her body was trying to make excuses for the inner turmoil being fought with in her head.

"Seriously Addison," she thought out loud, "Get a grip." Looking sideways, she noticed Meredith Grey looking through her charts.

"I was assigned to you today," Meredith smiled awkwardly, pretending she hadn't heard Addison talking to herself.

"Umm, okay, can you go check on my patients in rooms 209 and 211?" Addison asked icily, conveying no emotion, "Then you can scrub in with me, I'm just doing a complicated C-section." Meredith nodded, walking off towards the rooms, charts already in hand.

Addison sighed, knowing it was going to be a long day. Her head hurt worse than it had the day before and her stomach was churning as if she was swaying on a boat, which is how she actually felt. Ignoring the pain, Addison Montgomery continued walking down the hall.

"Hi," Addison walked into her next patient's room where Meredith was carefully readjusting the IV line, "I'm Doctor Montgomery." The patient was a young lady with blond hair who couldn't have been much older than twenty or so.

"Can you tell me what is wrong with me?" Meredith looked at Addison, slowly making eye-contact. Addison nodded in her direction, suggesting that she was supposed to announce the problem.

"While we know that you have not reached full-term, your baby needs to come out now. Your son has an underdeveloped heart problem which cannot be corrected in the womb. We will perform a C-section and then put your newborn son straight onto the operating table where Dr. Burke, our cardio-surgeon, will perform an operation," Meredith simplified the confusing medical terms for the patient.

"Will my baby...will my baby live?" she asked quietly, it was Addison's turn to take over.

"Only time will tell, but without the operation your baby will certainly die," Addison smiled sadly, reading the form, "I plan to perform the C-section this afternoon, if I can get your consent."

"Anything," the patient frowned, "To possibly save my baby." Addison motioned Meredith out of the room, into the hall.

"Do the pre-op procedures, I have a few patients to check on but then we will be good to go for the operation," Addison told her, shifting side to side awkwardly. Meredith half-smiled but noticed something off about the doctor.

"Are you alright Addison?" Meredith asked, genuinely concerned, "You look a little green." Addison's stomach was still swirling inside of her.

"I'm fine, just feeling a little off..." she trailed off. Man did she need a bathroom, quickly, "See you soon." Addison hurried towards the nearest bathroom, shoved open the door, and threw up the contents in her stomach into the toilet. She was surprised to hear Meredith Grey coming behind her. She threw up again, wiping her mouth and exiting the stall.

"Are you really okay?" Meredith asked. She had to admit, she felt somewhat awkward asking Addison Montgomery if she was okay. She knew how much mental healing she had, due to the actions of Meredith.

"Please don't tell Derek," she said somewhat bitterly, "Or the chief for that matter, everyone gets a little stomach flu once in awhile." Addison looked at Meredith, wanting to thank her for her concern, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

------

"Scapel," Addison motioned towards Meredith. She didn't feel better, she actually felt significantly worse. Sighing, she took the knife out of the young intern's hand and made the appropriate slice. She was dizzy and she knew that she shouldn't be performing an operation, but Addison didn't want to attract anymore attention to herself. Continuing the surgery, Addison safely removed the baby and began suturing the patient.

As Burke began operating on the baby, Addison turned her head backwards to watch, feeling a wave of pain hit her in the head, causing an onset of nausea. She was so dizzy. Addison stumbled backwards, holding her hands to her head. Suddenly, without any previous warning, Addison began to fall forwards, fainting. Meredith leapt across the room, catching the attending before she hit the ground.

"Addison!" Meredith cried out, slowly setting her on the ground.

"I can't...I can't..." Addison moaned soft, "It hurts."

"What hurts?" Meredith asked concerned, "Someone get me a gurney!" At the sound of the commotion, Preston Burke turned around only to see his co-worker nearly passed out next to Meredith Grey.

"What in the hell is going on over there!?" Burke asked, keeping his focus on the baby.

"Addison fainted," Meredith told him, continuing to hold on to the attending that hated her with a passion.

Addison, without thinking, placed her head on Meredith's shoulder, waiting for the gurney.

"Its okay," Meredith awkwardly comforted the attending, "You're fine."

"Someone finish suturing the patient..." Addison managed to croak. A nurse scurried over to the patient.

"Are you okay?" Burke asked, still working on his patient. Addison nodded,

"I'm...okay." Meredith looked at the attending laying in her lap, "Put our differences aside, I'm here."

Addison thought to herself about the differences. Derek Shepard plagued her mind. She still had trouble thinking about him without feeling tears prick her eyes. She hadn't been enough for him, she hadn't been faithful to him. She frowned.

"Do you think you can stand up?" Meredith asked.

"I've got her," the male orderly announced, slowly lifting her off the ground, "Where do you want me to take her?"

"I paged Dr. Webber," Meredith explained, "Take her to an examination room - he wants to run some tests." Addison groaned as another flash of pain flew threw her body. Meredith grabbed Addison's hand and gave it a squeeze,

"I'm sure everything will be okay."

Addison laughed to herself, she couldn't really remember what okay meant at all, nothing was okay.

-----

A/N: That was really just a prologue, thanks for reading! The first chapter will be up soon but I just wanted to introduce the plot. I think whats coming is fairly obvious but thats okay.


	2. Worse

**Disclaimer: Same as before, I still don't own Grey's Anatomy, shocking...I know.**

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this, it was one of those random ideas that just popped into my head. The plot will pick up later. Also, please tell why I'm doing this instead of studying for APs...**

------

Hours later, Addison remained in her hospital bed, curled up on her left side. Her headache and since dissipated but she was exhausted.

Richard, her lifelong idol, had done all the tests, taking time out of his hectic schedule for her. She was worried, for the first time since she had first felt her head throb, that something was actually wrong.

At first she had thought she was pregnant, many of the symptoms were right, but as a neo-natal specialist, Addison wasn't so sure.

------

Meredith Grey was exhausted. Walking towards Derek, Meredith sighed, dragging her feet one at a time. Derek stared at her, looking concerned,

"Are you okay?"

Meredith frowned, looking towards her boyfriend,

"Its been a long day." Meredith didn't know what to do. Although she deserved to tell Derek about his ex-wife, she didn't want to. She was, in fact, surprised that the news had not spread yet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek wasn't an emotional kind of person, but Meredith looked beat.

"It's Addison," she looked at the ground.

"What did she do this time?" He asked, not angrily, but annoyed.

"She fainted," Meredith stated plainly, "After suturing a patient in the OR." Derek's mouth dropped a little farther than would have been appropriate.

"Who told you?" He questioned curiously.

"I was there Derek, I caught her before she hit the ground," Meredith sighed, "I knew she wasn't feeling well. She had looked a little pale and I followed her into the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach." Derek looked surprised at Meredith's words.

"Is she okay?" he asked plainly, "Are you okay?"

"Why would you ask if I'm okay?" Meredith looked at him as if he had grown two heads, "I know that I'm supposed to hate Addison, and she no doubt hates me, I also understand that you, Addison, and I are in a dark and twisty threesome but she looked so helpless."

Derek frowned, "I'm sure she'll be okay. She's been pretty stressed out lately and as much as she walks the walk, she can't hold her stress very well."

Meredith wasn't convinced. Before she could argue, Melinda Bailey walked by.

"Grey! What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be with Montgomery?"

"Yeah..." Meredith answered blankly, panicking in the moment, "I'm going."

------

Richard Webber took one hesitant step into Addison's room.

"Addison?" he called towards the bed, not knowing whether she was awake or not. Slowly turning, trying not to flinch, Addison rolled towards the chief.

"Hi," she softly responded, "Are my results in?" Richard looked at his feet, not wanting to tell her the truth. For years, Addison Montgomery had been like a daughter to him and Adele. Although technically ranked lower than himself, her amazing ability to handle any neo-natal case with ease was motivational. He didn't want to see her hurting.

"Yeah..." he trailed off, "Yeah they are." Addison stared him in the eyes,

"You're scaring me Richard."

In any normal circumstance, Addison would have been fidgeting with her wedding ring, twisting it around her finger, in this case, there was no wedding ring.

"Do you want me to ease into it or just quickly pull the band-aid off?" he asked, proving her suspicions that something was wrong.

"Band-aid," she lucidly responded.

Richard slowly edged his way towards the bed, grabbing her hand,

"Addison," he began, clearing his throat, "You have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma."

Addison paused.

_Leukemia._

"I..." she choked, "Have leukemia?" She laughed, "I would, wouldn't I? The world is obviously still..." She stopped, reality hit her like a bullet.

"Addison," Richard comforted her, "Oh Addison."

Sobs began to wrack her small body as she wrapped her arms around the chief. The episode only lasted a few minutes as she sat up, thinking to herself,

"Not now Addison, not now."

Instead of continuing to make a scene, she asked, "What are my treatment options?"

Richard sadly laughed, recognizing the presence of a doctor,

"Chemotherapy and radiation would more than likely be the best option," he explained, "You know the side effects, but I would ask that you start soon to prevent it from spreading even further..."

Addison sat listening to the information that was changing her life forever.

------

"Leukemia?" Izzie asked surprised, changing out of her scrubs next to Meredith, "How did you find out?"

"The chief told me," Meredith shrugged, "I know, I know, its unusual, but I was there when she passed out Iz."

"I can't believe it," Izzie looked at her friend, "How could something like that happen to such a strong woman?"

"I don't know, but chief is releasing her tomorrow, shes decided to go ahead and start chemo next week," Meredith explained.

"How'd Derek take the news?" Izzie asked thoughtfully, "I know that he is your boyfriend and all that jazz, but still..."

"I know," Meredith sighed, "I haven't seen him since I found out..."

------

Derek paced outside of Addison's room, watching as Richard discharged her. He wondered where she would go, he didn't want her going to the hotel alone. He watched her vibrant red hair...it would more than likely be gone soon. As he paced, he didn't noticed Dr. Torres walk into the room.

"Addison," Callie began, "Umm..." Addison warmly smiled at the other attending,

"I don't really expect you to know what to say." Callie laughed awkwardly,

"I was thinking...well, I have the night off and I don't think its fair for you to stay in here alone, I could stay..."

Addison smiled at Callie, "You don't have to." Suddenly, without warning, Derek eased his way into the room.

"Hi," he looked at his ex-wife, if he had paid an ounce of attention to her he would have known that something was wrong.

"Hi..." she looked at her feet, trying not to get lost in his deep eyes.

"How are you doing?" he asked shyly, not wanting to push his limits,

"I'll come back in a little while..." Callie took her cue to leave and headed towards the door leaving Addison and Derek alone.

"Wonderful," she replied sarcastically, "My life is wonderful."

Derek frowned.

"What do you expect?" she asked, "You left me for Meredith. I tried Derek, I made a mistake and I tried to fix it. Then I try to live my life around the two of you to find out that I have Stage 3 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and don't have a huge chance of surviving. Next week at this time I'll be in a room, similar to this one, finishing up my first round of chemotherapy. Nothing, I mean NOTHING, goes right for me anymore."

"Addi," he grabbed her hand in a seemingly friendly manner, "You can't do this alone."

Addison looked at Derek,

"Yes I can. You left me, you left me, I don't know why and I don't know...I just don't know," she let a sob slip, "Derek, I haven't been a saint either, but I watch you, everyday, treat Meredith Grey how you used to treat me. You look at her like you used to look at me, and I'm having trouble getting used to not being your soul-mate."

"Addison..." he began, clearing his throat, "You will ALWAYS be my soul-mate. It may not have worked out, but you are the one I'm supposed to be with. But you know, as doctors, we don't always follow the rules. But you know - I'm not letting you sit in this room and die alone."

"What are you trying to say Derek?" she looked into his eyes for the first time, taking a deeper breath at the side.

"I'm saying that I don't know what to do right now," he frowned, "I think I love two women..." Grabbing Addison's hand, Derek sat in the chair next to her bed, "I won't let you do this alone."

------

A/N: Thanks for the great and positive feedback...continue it! In the future we'll see her condition worsen, the possibility of ADDEK, and well, yeah.


	3. Confrontations

**A/N: Thanks for all the awesome reviews, I'm glad everyone is responding like they are - keep it up! **

**------**

After a restless night at the hospital, Richard and Addison came to the agreement that she could return to work for a week before she started heavy chemotherapy. She was not to enter the O.R. either, at least for now. She understood that her cancer had spread to a point where surgery would be useless, but she was still planning on fighting.

The day after her release, Derek was surprised to see Addison glide into the hospital, looking as stunning as always. She walked up to Derek and Meredith, who were waiting to enter the elevator.

"You look okay," Derek told her, as the doors of the elevator opened.

"Yeah, you do," Meredith squeaked, looking at the floor.

"I have a week, maybe less, until I start treatment," she groaned.

Derek snuck a look in her direction, trying to catch her eyes. They were blank.

"The sooner you start, the sooner you can fight this thing," Derek pointed out, "Fight like hell."

Meredith stood in the back of the elevator awkwardly. He had seen the look he had snuck Addison and she didn't like it. She felt bad not liking it but Derek was her boyfriend. The elevator opened on the third floor and the three walked out together.

"Addison!" she heard from down the hall, the three turned around to see Callie Torres walking towards them.

"Bye Derek," Meredith leaned up and kissed him on the lips, heading towards the interns locker room, she didn't want to tag along with Addison and Derek any longer.

"This is stupid," Meredith groaned, walking into the locker room, "I'm a horrible person."

"Yeah?" Izzy asked, "Why?"

"Derek, he was flirting with Addison on the elevator. Well, eyeballing her and it makes me horrible because I hate it and shes alone and about to go through hell but there isn't an inch of my body that wants to like her just because..." Meredith paused, looking Izzy in the eyes.

"He's still in love with her. But he loves me. I can tell. If he wants to be with her so that she isn't alone during this, I guess..." Meredith stopped again, interrupted by Izzy.

"Meredith...it will all work itself out, but obviously Derek is probably a little preoccupied. He spent a third of his life with her and now she could be dying and I think he just...he wants to be there for her," Izzy proclaimed, throwing her hair in a ponytail.

"You know, maybe you should try to be friends with Addison. You did practically save her life," George reminded her, "Besides, Bailey said that we had to stick to our attending all week, so you're on vagina patrol again."

Meredith sighed, the day was not looking up.

------

"Well, sorry you won't be able to scrub in on anything," Addison looked at her intern, who seemed distracted.

"Thats okay, but is there a particular reason?" Meredith asked, following Addison down the hall.

"I'm basically banned from the OR for right now. I start treatment next week, heavy treatment. I can come into work when I want to, but I don't know...its touch and go right now."

Meredith frowned, she felt bad for asking.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Meredith smiled sadly, "But...I was thinking this morning..." She was interrupted by Addison,

"I need a bathroom, hold on." Addison hurried towards the nearest ladies room in her Gucci heels.

Once again, Meredith followed her attending.

"Please don't pass out on me again," Meredith called into the stall, where Addison had just finished puking.

"Doctor Webber gave me meds that were supposed to ease the side effects, but I guess it didn't really help my nausea too much," she frowned, straightening her dress and walking out of the stall, "Do I look composed?"

Meredith snorted, "You always look composed next to me." Addison smiled,

"That isn't true, Meredith." Meredith just looked shyly in the other direction.

"Okay, lets continue on," Addison smiled, "And keep this to ourselves."

------

Addison sat alone, eating her lunch outside of Seattle Grace. She didn't want to be around the gossiping doctors and nurses but she didn't have much of a choice. She felt relieved when she saw Derek walking towards her.

"Come with me," he motioned to her, not even sitting down.

"Where are we going?" She asked suspiciously.

"I'm saving you from all of these eyes," he smiled sweetly in her direction.

Heading up to the roof, Addison smiled.

"This is the most thoughtful thing you've done in a long time."

"I know, I need to talk to you," he sat down on the roof, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I assumed as much," she looked at him, rubbing her aching head. She only had come to work because she didn't want to draw attention to her illness.

"I have this problem," he began, "And I've told you about it before. Theres you, Addison Forbes Montgomery, my first true love, my soul-mate. Then there is Meredith Grey, the messy, cute intern whom I love a lot and who hasn't hurt me. But then I take into account that I've spent one-third of my life with you, and the fact that you are really sick, and I suddenly want more time with you. But you see, I think I love you both...I don't want you for pity reasons. I just...want you."

"I guess you just pulled the band-aid on that one," she laughed, "But in all seriousness, I want you too, but you and Meredith are happy."

"Thats why I want to talk to her," he added, "Before next week, to see what she has to say to the idea."

"Don't hurt her Derek, try not to hurt her," Addison frowned, "She doesn't deserve to be hurt."

Derek smiled at his ex-wife, who looked out over the roof, he imagined her losing her red curls.

"Addison," he said, "No matter what happens...I love you, you know that, right?"

She felt one tear form in her eye. Yeah, she knew.

------

"Addison," Meredith had been trying all day to work up the nerve to talk to Addison about their friendship.

"Yeah?" she asked, continuing to read the chart.

"Are we friends?" she asked slowly and bluntly.

Addison stopped and turned around. She looked at Meredith, the wily intern who always looked a little frazzled. She knew they had a lot in common and should be friends.

"Because," Meredith continued, "You know those times in life when you have epiphanies? Those moments that define yourself. Well, a few days ago you, the number one neo-natal surgeon in the country, passed out in my arms and your life changed. I realized in that moment, I never really had the right to hate your guts, which I did. I realized we have a lot in common and we were both victims of McDreamy. I've also realized Derek's eyes staring at you recently, and it doesn't bother me. All I want is to be friends with you because I don't want to live my life regretting we never were."

Addison stopped in her tracks and slowly lifted up her glasses, staring at Meredith.

"Do you mean all that?" she asked, "Because...you know, I guess I'd have to agree."

Meredith smiled, "I just have a hunch that in the next few months you are going to need the biggest support system you can get."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Addison sighed, "Thanks...thanks for saying that." Addison looked at the intern, internally smiling.

It must have been the day for confrontations. She loved it. The one good thing about cancer: friendship.

------

"I am friends with Addison Forbes Montgomery," Meredith announced in the locker room with the other interns. The other four turned to look at her.

"Out of pity, I'm assuming?" Christina snarked.

"No," Meredith sneered, "Because it was something I needed to do."

The other interns shrugged, looking at their friend,

"Wanna get drinks at Joe's?" Karev suggested, looking at the rest.

Meredith smiled, shrugging...they were friends. Friends. Friends.

------

**Thanks for all the support, sorry this chapter sucked. Please continue reviewing because you guys are pretty amazing!**


	4. I love you

**Disclaimer: Same as always, I still don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the cast...it is still unfortunate.**

**I honestly didn't do a great job on the last chapter, but this one is hopefully better. Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming, it would be cool. **

**------**

Addison was scared, more scared than she had ever been in her life. She lay in the hospital bed, desperately praying that something would change...soon. She lay in the bed, clutching onto her gown, waiting for the chief to give her a spinal tap to insert her first dose of chemotherapy. She felt tears prick her eyes.

"Hi," Meredith walked awkwardly into the room, "Derek wanted me to come in here and sit with you...he was rushed off into an emergency crainiotomy and he said it could get pretty long and complicated." She slowly sat on the couch across the room.

"Hey," Addison spoke softly, "Thanks for coming." The two sat in awkward silence for about five minutes, only making small talk, until Richard walked into the room.

"Morning Addie," he smiled sadly towards the redhead, "How are you feeling?"

She was shaking, but she managed to reply with the truthful answer, "Nervous."

Meredith looked at her feet, she didn't really know what to say to comfort her sick...friend.

"You know how a spinal tap works," the chief began, "So I'm not going to explain it to you. Are you ready?"

Addison nodded, afraid to speak. Richard got out the long needle, and Addison tried her hardest not to look at it.

Meredith tried not to make a grimacing face but it was hard. The needle seemed so harsh, something she wouldn't want stuck in her back.

As Richard began the procedure, Addison started sweating. Her face was scrunched, proving her pain. Meredith slowly got up, moving closer to the bed, and grabbed Addison's shaking hand.

Addison's face slowly became softer and she relaxed a tiny bit, squeezing the smaller girl's hand.

"Thank you," she whispered, closing her eyes and letting the pain take over her back.

Meredith just smiled, giving her hand a small squeeze.

------

Izzy and Christina sat side-by-side in the locker room, waiting for Bailey to give them their orders.

George stood in front of the two, not knowing whether it was appropriate to speak or not.

"So Meredith is..." he started, scratching his forehead, "assisting the chief?" Christina only shrugged, watching Alex appear from the other side of the locker room.

"I came in early," he started, ignoring the looks of ridicule from the rest of the pack, "I walked by Dr. Montgomery's room and I saw Meredith in there...it looked like she was holding her hand."

"That's insane," Christina began, "So they may be on good terms, but that doesn't mean that Meredith would ever hold her hand...that's too awkward."

"Maybe a little compassion wouldn't hurt?" Izzy suggested, glaring at her friend, "Addison is going through a lot right now...the least she could use is a little support."

"Who said I wasn't supporting her?" Christina asked, putting on an angry look, "I support her, whatever, but if Meredith is going to be holding Satan's hand everyday, that means...well, I guess that means more surgeries for us, whatever."

"Since when did she become Satan again?" Izzy asked, scooting away from Christina, "Apparently you've never had a conversation with her...she is one of the nicest people ever."

"Since McDreamy," Christina responded in a mocking voice, "Started giving her the look that he usually gives Meredith. All I know is that if he goes running back to Dr. Montgomery, I am, once again, going to have to be the one that picks up all the pieces for Meredith, and last time she practically went off the deep-end."

"Maybe Meredith will react differently this time if it even does happen," George suggested, "Maybe she'll understand."

Christina sighed as the door swung open.

"Why are you people just sittin' here?!" Bailey yelled, "So I was a few minutes late, I was visiting Addison Montgomery, but that doesn't excuse you people from rounds!"

"Where's Meredith?" Alex asked, "Shouldn't she be doing rounds?"

"What Meredith is doing is none of your business Karev!" she barked, "If I wanted to know where she was, I'd ask!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, heading for the door.

The day was not starting off quite like the interns wanted.

------  
"Mer..." Derek grabbed her arm as she walked down the hall.

"Hey," she smiled, turning around to face Derek.

"We need to talk," he frowned, "I've been holding this off for about a week."

Meredith looked at her feet, and then back up at his eyes,

"Do you want me to save you the breath and tell you I know what you are going to say?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

"What am I going to say?" he questioned, dropping his hold of her hand.

"I know you are going to leave me for Addison," she began, "I know that you love us both in completely different ways and you feel guilty making her do this alone."

"I..." he stopped, "I guess you are right."

"How do you even know she wants you back?"

"Because," Derek explained, "I spent one-third of my life with her, and I want her to know that I loved her."

Meredith nodded, feeling her head spin. She shouldn't have been surprised, she knew it was coming.

"What does that make us?" Meredith asked, nervous.

"Fri...friends?" he asked softly, "At least for now?"

Meredith sighed, smoothing her hands through her hair.

"Friends," she said simply, "Okay. We'll have to find another dog to walk, think of more problems to talk about in the park."

"Do you understand that I'll always love you?" Derek asked, "Do you understand how much you will always still mean to me?"

"Yeah..." she smiled, "I guess I do..."

Derek turned around, walking down the hall towards his new life.

Meredith watched, no thoughts floating through her head. Addison deserved him. There was no stopping the pain that filled her stomach afterwards, causing her to fly towards the bathroom. Addison deserved him, but she wanted him.

There really was no justice in the world.

------

Derek slowly walked into Addison's room, afraid of how sick she might look.

Addison lay on her side with her eyes closed, yet she looked peaceful. He smiled sadly, looking at her. He thought back five years, back when himself and Addison had been the most glamorous couple in New York, or at least in New York Presbyterian. Addison had been flawless, and he had been in love.

He glanced at her sleeping body and felt stupid. Although she had made a major mistake, how could he ever have challenged his love for her?

Slowly, her azure eyes opened, squinting at the light.

"Hey..." he ran his hand through her hair and gave her a small smile.

"Hi," she tried to smile, but her face ended up scrunched.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, scooting his chair as close as possible to the side of the bed.

"I feel miserable," she admitted, "You know...I've administered this drug to my patients in the past, but I never believed it could drain someone this much."

"I talked to Meredith," he announced, wanting to avoid the subject of her pain. He had never seen her in true physical pain. Yeah, there was the time she fell down the stairs during her internship and sprained her ankle, and yeah, there was the time she got poison oak all over her vagina, but he had never seen her look like she was dying. Addison's eyes opened a little bit further as the thoughts ran through his head.

"Did you..." she began, looking up hopefully, trying to forget how amazing Meredith Grey had been to her earlier in the day.

"I did," he grinned, "I'm sorry Addie. It shouldn't take cancer for me to realize how much I love you..."

"As long as you realized..." she sat up slowly, putting one hand on her aching back. She leaned forward in hopes of a kiss and was returned by a soft but loving kiss, "I can't help but feel guilty that we're doing this to Meredith. You know, she came in here and held my hand for a while today."

"She's a great person, Addi," he held her hand tighter, "And once again, you know that my love for Meredith is not going to die overnight, but I love you even more."

"I guess its hard to throw away a decade of your life," Addison shrugged, "The memories will never leave."

"And Mark is out of the question?" Derek asked cautiously, afraid to bring up such a fragile topic.

"Mark is out of the question, maybe the three of us could be friends again..." she looked at him hopefully, "JUST friends this time."

"Just like New York," he smiled, resting his head on her bed.

"Just like New York," she repeated.

"By the way," he began, "I expect you to fight like hell Addi. Fight like you've never fought before to beat this thing...which I know you will. It all comes in the hair."

"I'm already fighting," she smiled, "See? I have a smile on my face...that's what I call fighting."

------

Well, thanks for reading thus far. Please comment. It'll be awhile for the next update since I'm leaving the country in less than 48 hours! Theres more AddMer friendship to come and I think I've already decided the ending...which might be in a long time. Thanks for everything...and if you're a senior, congrats!


	5. Friendship

**Disclaimer: It's still the same - I'm working on owning Grey's...**

**Thanks everyone for reviewing, I know that my story is definitely not as amazing as some of the stories posted on this site, it feels good to get good reviews and such. I really just enjoy writing the stories, especially coming up with the plots in my head...which are a lot better than how they come out when I'm writing.**

**Anyways, I'll stop rambling...but please review!**

------

"Are you ready to go home?" Derek asked Addison, helping her out of her stuffy hospital gown.

"To the trailer?" she asked, seeming rather disgusted, "I guess..." Addison pulled up the tight darkwash jeans around her waist, making sure her hair flowed perfectly over her shoulders.

"Well..." he started, "I was thinking about that. I know how much you absolutely despise the trailer, so maybe we could consider moving somewhere different, a little more spacious. I'll keep the land, but move away from the trailer."

Addison paused and turned around as she finished throwing on the purple shirt he had brought her.

"You mean it?" she asked, "I mean...the bed in the trailer is probably only a step above this awful hospital bed."

"If you really want," he looked at Addison, sitting down next to her, "We can go to a hotel for a few nights. Nothing beats room service and fluffy hotel pillows?"

Addison laughed, ignoring the pain in her back she still had from the lumbar puncture, "This is true."

The two heard a knock on the door. They both looked up to see Meredith Grey nervously leaning against the doorframe.

"Hi," she smiled at the couple, "I just came to tell you good luck with everything for the next few days...not that I won't see you." Meredith's smile seemed plastered on her face, although the two probably knew that it was as fake as fake gets.

"Well thanks," Addison smiled, standing up, "Hopefully I'll feel good enough to come check on some of my patients tomorrow."

"That would be a big step," Meredith said, "But if you need me to check on anyone or anything...I'll be happy to do it."

"Do you have the morning off tomorrow?" Addison asked hopefully, Meredith gave her a slightly weirded out look, "If you don't...I can get you the morning off."

"Why?" she asked, "I don't need the morning off, do I?"

"We'll have to play this by ear," Addison explained, "But I'd love to have breakfast with you tomorrow, at the hotel. There is a good chance I'll be puking my guts or not able to turn on the lights because of a headache, but I can call you in the morning."

Meredith knew the words that were left unsaid. It would be hard to form a friendship around Derek, who seemed to make every interaction more and more awkward.

"Sounds great," Meredith smiled tightly, "Well...I'll let you guys finish getting ready to leave." Meredith hurried towards the door, leaving as quick as she could.

------

Meredith hurried through the halls of Seattle Grace, looking for Christina. She finally found her, rolling her eyes at a patient who was complaining about theTV stations or something of that sort.

"Umm...excuse me, but I need to borrow Dr. Yang for a minute," Meredith popped into the room and apologized to the patient.

"God, thanks for that. That patient is such a..." Christina started rambling before being interrupted by Meredith,

"Addison wants to have a friendship with me...and she is following through on this. She wants to go out to breakfast tomorrow, just her and me."

Christina looked puzzled, "Well just don't go. You guys are basically playing tug-o'-war with McDreamy and it makes me sick."

"But she is really nice!" Meredith groaned, "And I let McDreamy go...she needs him more than I do right now. It's not as if I can just say no to the 'sad dying doctor'."

"Obviously you've made up your mind, maybe if you go actually check on your patients you could like, hurt one of them and then they'll need stellar surgery all night and..." Christina used the unrealistic side of her brain, once again.

"I'll go," Meredith decided, "It won't be bad...think happy thoughts."

------

It was on, apparently Addison actually felt a lot better in the morning, which somewhat surprised Meredith.

Apparently Addison and Derek were staying at the Four Seasons, which was only a few blocks from Seattle Grace, making it easy for her to do her morning rounds before going to the hotel.

Meredith looked down at her outfit one more time. Addison always looked hotter than her. Meredith wore dark jeans, a tight brown v-neck sweater, and her cheetah flats. She felt casual enough while still looking cute enough to be seen with Addison.

Meredith slowly walked out onto the back terrace of the hotel, looking around for Addison's bright red hair.

She finally spotted her, sitting near the corner of the patio, glancing down at the table. Meredith slowly made her way towards the table; she could feel her heartbeating against her chest.

"Hi," Meredith smiled tightly, pulling out the chair across from Addison.

"Oh, hi Meredith!" Addison smiled back, more warmly than Meredith had to her.

"How are you this morning?" Meredith asked, doctor-mode immediately kicking in.

"I honestly expected to wake up feeling like shit," Addison shrugged, "But I feel pretty good. I know that by this afternoon that is going to go down the drain."

"Yeah..." Meredith answered awkwardly, "This is a really nice hotel."

"According to Derek, they have good food," she laughed, "I wouldn't have been able to swallow one bite last night."

Meredith started feeling bad for Addison, it was all kicking in. Addison needed more friends before she got worse, and apparently Meredith was the one person she decided to start with.

"So," Addison began, "Did you do rounds before showing up this morning?"

Meredith smiled, more warmly this time, "I'm an intern...its in my blood."

"Not for much longer," Addison noted, "You take the intern tests soon...and I know you'll pass."

"What makes you so sure?" Meredith answered, "I don't think I'm going to have that much willpower to study...I tend to get kind of lazy sometimes."

"Meredith, you are a really gifted doctor," Addison started laughing, "We are such doctors..."

Meredith's smile was full-blown now, Addison was making conversation, automatically. No wonder everyone loved her so much.

"Well, we could not talk about the hospital?" Meredith suggested.

"That is true," Addison closed her menu, "Are you ready to order?"

------

Addison and Meredith walked into Seattle Grace side-by-side, laughing. Meredith's smile was plastered to her face, she had had one of the best mornings she had had in a long, long time.

Christina walked by the pair, making a face. Meredith had merely waved at Christina.

"Well hello to you too," Christina muttered, continuing past the pair.

The next to encounter the two was Derek, which caused the two to erupt back into a fit of giggles. They had had a long conversation about his personality flaws, which seemed to spill out of their mouths.

"Who are you and what did you do with Addison and Meredith?" he asked the two, sticking his pen in his pocket.

"Good one," Meredith rolled her eyes, "We happen to be happy, sorry you don't see that too much."

"Well I'm glad," Derek glanced at the two, "Carry on."

Addison and Meredith looked at each other and laughed again.

Maybe everything would be alright anyways.

Screw cancer, screw boyfriends...friendships were more important anyways.

------

Sorry there was no romance or anything. It was strictly Mer/Addison friendship...a concept I love.

REVIEW.


	6. Bond

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything affiliated with Grey's Anatomy (unless you count posters and DVDs).**

**A/N: I hope you guys like it...keep the reviews coming! Its been the worst possible week ever...boys are stupid, so doing this is...helpful. Stay cool.**

**------**

_All I want to do it find a way back into love, I can't make it through without a way back into love._

Meredith and Addison were mutually tearing up, sprawled out on the couch at Meredith's house, watching the final scene in _Music and Lyrics._

"That is so sweet!" Addison commented, pulling the blanket she was sharing with Meredith up to her face to wipe the sporadic tears that were falling.

"Why can't all the men of Seattle be that cute? I haven't seen any grande romantic gestures from them." Meredith questioned allowed. The two sighed at the same time, focusing on the romantic scene in the movie.

As if on cue, George padded across the living room, behind the couch.

"Could the two of you be more typical? Who does grande romantic gestures?" he asked, focusing on the screen, "This is so predictable...and I haven't even seen the movie!"

"Shut up O'Malley," Addison turned around and playfully scowled, then turning around to roll her eyes at Meredith.

"Yes Dr. Montgomery," he froze, continuing on towards the stairs.

"You can call me Addison...its not like I'm going to be your boss for a while," she nonchalantly commented. Nothing had gotten better since the two had gone to breakfast. Derek wouldn't allow Addison to stay in the hotel alone, so Meredith found herself hanging out with Addison a lot. Addison had finally made the brave decision to take a leave until she was better...or worse.

"So I'm not looking forward to tomorrow," Addison commented, turning slowly to face Meredith, "You better come see me during your breaks."

"Addison," Meredith began, thinking about her next round of chemotherapy that was starting, "Even if I didn't visit, which I obviously will, you are so freaking strong. You have so many people behind you too, you're a fighter!"

"Christina is lucky," Addison noted, "You seem like a pretty decent person to have as a 'person'."

"Well thanks," Meredith laughed, watching the credits roll onto the screen, "I try."

"You know," Addison shrugged, "Even though you have your person, I don't have a person in Seattle. So...I guess, can I come to you if I ever need to talk?"

Meredith grinned ear-to-ear. A month ago the two women had absolutely hated each other, "Only if you'll be compassionate when I have problems. That is one thing that Christina seriously lacks...and sometimes it would be nice to have."

"Of course," Addison responded, "But if you want compassion, I wouldn't come to me when I'm getting chemotherapy."

Meredith only laughed, tossing a pillow at Addison. Addison returned the gesture by swinging one into Meredith's face. It was already the making of a beautiful friendship.

------

"Do you remember in New York," Derek began, clutching his wife's hand, "When we would go, during our free time, to that open-air market in Brooklyn?" Derek was doing all in his power to talk to Addison about something that wasn't the drug being administered to her.

Addison slowly smiled, "All the vendors were so sketchy, but we loved it."

"That we did," Derek kissed her forehead, "How are you feeling?" He knew that he couldn't beat around the bush forever. He knew that he'd run out of memories eventually with all the treatment she was soon to endure.

"Sleepy," she groaned, "How are you?"

Derek smiled, "I'm in love with you." Derek had forgotten how much he loved her smile, which was slowly creeping across her face.

"I have a question," he looked at her, "And I want you to answer it truthfully."

"Shoot," Addison looked at him, a little worried about what was about to come out of his mouth.

"Okay," he began, "Do you want me to take a leave with you so you don't have to always be alone?"

Addison looked Derek straight in the eyes, "Derek Shepherd, you CANNOT take a leave. You know that Richard will adjust your hours to however you'd like, but please do not completely leave this hospital with me."

"Are you sure?" he asked, "Just for a little while?"

Addison frowned, "No Derek! I want life to feel as normal as possible for as long as possible!"

"Fine," Derek sighed, "It was worth a shot." Derek's pager beeped. _911. _

"I have to leave," he announced, lightly placing a kiss on her forehead, "I'll be as soon as I can." With his last words, Derek shot out of the room, almost taking down Meredith Grey on his way.

"Hey," he nodded to her, trying not to look her in the eyes. He was afraid that if they made eye contact; he would regret leaving her. Regretting was not something that he could do at the moment.

"Hi," she smiled tightly, continuing into the room of her new friend, equally ignoring Derek's eyes.

"Hey Addison," she smiled loosely at her friend, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Hows it going?"

Addison turned to face her friend, sitting up a little, "I am really sick of this bed."

"I understand," Meredith looked at Addison, thinking about the time that she had appendicitis.

"And I feel really gross," Addison explained, "I just...I feel sick." Addison frowned and sighed. She knew that this was only the beginning of a lot bigger issues, which included weight loss and the inability to hold anything in her stomach.

"I'm sorry," Meredith scooted a little closer to Addison, "I wish I could help you."

"And to make matters worse," she groaned, "Derek is...he is trying, but he's not doing the best job."

Meredith feigned surprise, but truthfully she wasn't surprised. She knew that Derek was back with Addison because he felt a responsibility that he had pledged in his vows.

"He is trying, he really is," Addison continued, "But...he just...he doesn't really know how to try with me anymore."

"I'm sorry," Meredith began, "I feel like that is partly my fault."

"It is," Addison joked. Meredith's face looked shocked. "I'm kidding!"

"Oh, Doctor Montgomery..." Meredith smiled, grabbing her friends shaky hand.

------

"Meredith doesn't seem to care about us anymore," Christina pointed out, "Who does Addison Montgomery think she is...stealing my person!"

Izzy looked angered by the comment, "Addison is sick, her ex-husband is coddling her because he finally realized that he needs to shed the rest of his feelings for her, and Meredith is being supportive."

"She barely regards us anymore!" George turned around, "We found her first."

"She owes it to Addison," Alex turned around, looking at the other interns.

"What did she do to Satan?" Christina asked, continuing to change back into her street clothes.

"Don't call her Satan!" Izzy scolded her, sitting down on the bench.

"Why? Just because she's sick?" Alex asked, "Don't coddle her."

"She's a decent person!" Izzy sighed, "Meredith obviously approves, so you should too!"

"Why?" Christina looked like she was about to run out of the locker room.

"Because she's your person."

"Barely," Christina sighed, "She doesn't even know anything going on with me right now."

"It is all probably a phase," George pointed out, "Besides Dr. Montgomery is hot...I like having her around the house."

"George!" the other three interns reciprocated.

"We just have to win Mer back," Izzy shrugged, "Even if it means bringing Addison for the ride."

"Whatever, lets go drink," Christina sighed, opening the door to the locker room and walking out into the hospital. She wanted her person back.

------


	7. Surprises

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything affiliated with Grey's Anatomy (unless you count posters and DVDs).**

**A/N: I hope you guys like it...keep the reviews coming! I'm sorry its been a while, but I'm sure most of you understand that the summer can be hectic and busy. This chapter should have more Addek! It should be cute, or at least what I have planned should be cute!**

**------**

In the middle of the night, Addison felt someone slip into her hospital room and lightly grab her hand. At first she suspected that it would be Meredith, who was graciously playing the role of best friend. Instead, she felt the strong and sturdy grip of Derek. He slowly massaged her hand and a small smile crept onto her face. She was surprised to see sun shining in the window when she opened her heavy eyes.

"I thought it was the middle of the night," she yawned, "What time is it?"

"Its seven," he smiled, locking eyes with her, "And you are leaving today!"

"You sound happier than I do about that," she smiled back, closing her eyes. The light made her dull headache grow.

"I have a surprise for you!" he grinned from ear-to-ear, "So I'm going to con Yang into discharging you first. She got put on that duty today...she whined at Bailey."

Addison smiled back, "What kind of surprise?"

"The kind where I don't give you any hints," he ran his hand through her red hair, and looked into his hand. There were red hairs on it. He felt a tear prick his eyes and looked up at Addison.

"How are you?" he asked, "Are you dealing okay?"

"I have you and Meredith," she looked sad, "And the rest of the staff, but as selfish as it sounds...I love my hair. I love being healthy, too."

"I know you do," he squeezed her hand, "I'll be back in an hour to get you...I have to check on some post-op patients. I love you."

"I love you too," she watched him leave, turning to her side.

A few minutes later she heard a knock on her door. She watched as Cristina Yang entered the room, looking mad.

"Sign these," she looked at Addison with a straight face.

"Although I'm on a leave, that doesn't mean you are allowed to suddenly be rude to me," Addison raised her eyebrows at Cristina, "I know why you're acting like this."

"I'm just doing my job," she kept the straight face on, "Trying not to get emotionally involved like some doctors."

"Yang," Addison sat up, flinching, "Please don't hate me because I'm spending a lot of time with your 'person'."

"I'm not talking about this right now," Cristina continued filling out the papers, "It just seems as if she doesn't care about me anymore."

"She cares about you more than anyone," Addison reassured Cristina, "Trust me."

"Whatever," Cristina walked towards the door, "You're discharged."

------

"Why am I blindfolded?" Addison asked Derek, somewhat amused.

"If you weren't...the surprise would be ruined!" he exclaimed, opening Addison's door and scooping her into his arms. She smiled, Derek was finally succeeding at being there.

She could hear them open a door and then into an elevator, but she had no clue where she was. She assumed she was just in another hotel.

Finally, after getting out of the elevator and opening another door, Derek slowly began to untie the blindfold.

"1...2...3!" he grinned, releasing her blindfold and exposing her to the condo he had been hastily furnishing for the past two weeks.

Addison paused for a moment and looked around the living room, which Derek had furnished to resemble her favorite room in their New York Brownstone. The room held her favorite painting from New York and had stacks of her favorite DVDs. Everything in the room was black, red, and white - her favorite color combinations.

"Oh my God, DEREK!" she shrieked, throwing her arms around his shoulders. She slowly headed towards the kitchen, looking around at the beautiful appliances. Everything about the condo reminded herself of her, and she was grateful, "Did you furnish this? You bought a condo? What about the trailer?"

"Well," he grinned, pleased that she liked the condo, "I'm keeping the land but we are living here together. I have an office in the back with all my stuff but the rest of condo is made to please you."

Addison leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on Derek's lips, which escalated into much more. Scooping her up in his arms again, he carried her towards the bedroom and laid her on the bed.

"The mattress!" she unlocked her lips from his and sat up, "It's just like the mattress in the Hamptons...my favorite!"

"All of your things are already in the closet, I remembered how you like to organize things and I took the liberty of doing that. I didn't want to make you spend your time organizing things."

"Derek," she breathed, looking him the eyes, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

------

Meredith walked through the halls of Seattle Grace, shuffling the files in her hands. Before she reached the next room she had to do rounds in, she almost ran straight into Cristina.

"Hey!" Meredith smiled at her best friend, "What are you up to?"

"Do you really care?" Cristina asked bitterly, "I have a feeling the only person you really want to ask that is Addison."

"Why are you so bitter?" Meredith asked, "Izzie told me what you were saying in the locker room..."

"You know," Cristina frowned, "I thought that maybe, maybe, you really cared about me...but lately you've been treating me just like the next nurse you come across in the halls."

"I've had a really hard few weeks," Meredith frowned, "From Addison passing out in my arms, to always running errands from her, and to Derek leaving me but me always being in his presence..."

"Please consider the fact that even though Addison is sick, I'm still your best friend," Cristina looked Meredith seriously in the eyes.

"Well," Meredith shrugged, "You are still my best friend, I'm just being supportive. You are welcome to be supportive with me."

"Whatever," Cristina smiled at her best friend, "You are just too good of a person."

------

Two nights later, Meredith was woken up by the loud ring of her phone.

"Hello?" she answered groggily, wondering who was calling at two in the morning.

"M..Mer..." she heard Addison's shaky voice on the other side of the phone, "I...wheres..."

"Addison!" Meredith exclaimed, shooting up in bed, "What's wrong? I'm coming over! Where is Derek?"

"Em...emergency," her voice was shaking so much, "I...fever."

"I'm coming!" Meredith hopped out of bed and grabbed the nearest sweatshirt she could find, "I'm on my way."

Meredith jumped into her Jeep and sped down her street, heading towards the condominium. She was worried, extremely worried.

Meredith parked her car and sprinted towards the door, hopping in the elevator and grabbing her spare key, which Derek had given her, out of her purse.

Instead of being greeted by Addison's smile, she found Addison passed out on the kitchen floor.

"Addi!" she screamed, sliding on the floor next to her friend.

The times were changing, she was getting worse. A lot worse.

------

**That kind of...I don't know, sucked a bit. Oh well, I'm going out of town for a while. I'll update when I'm home.**


	8. It Hits the Fan

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything affiliated with Grey's Anatomy (unless you count posters and DVDs).**

**A/N: I'm back for the rest of the summer. I just realized that is kind of sad, I like being home but my sport starts Thursday, and I'm not looking forward to it. Thanks for all the reviews, I hope you like it. I have a feeling that this story won't go past around 15 chapters, we'll see!**

**------**

Meredith was panicking, she honestly had no clue what to do. Well, she was doctor, she knew that much. She knew that Addison needed to get the hospital because she had a high-fever. The only problem was that her inner debate in-between calling an ambulance or taking her herself was tearing her apart.

Addison groaned and Meredith quickly leapt to her side. The only problem with taking Addison herself was somehow getting her to the car, Meredith didn't know how she would manage that.

"Addi," Meredith began, stroking her friends hair lightly, trying not to pull any red chunks out with her, "I just need you to breathe."

It wasn't that Addison weighed much more than Meredith, it was just that she was taller than Meredith. Besides, with the treatments she had lost a lot of weight.

Meredith finally decided to go for it. She lifted one of Addison's arms and put it around the neck. She then put her arms under Addison and then lifted her. Meredith knew that it was just her adrenaline that was allowing her to carry Addison. Once Addison was in her arms, Meredith took back her last thought. She hadn't realized how much weight Addison had lost due to chemotherapy.

Addison moaned again as Meredith headed towards the door and down towards her car, ready to take Addison to the hospital. Once the two were settled in the car, Meredith picked up her phone and called the chief.

"Chief?" Meredith cried into the phone, "It's Meredith."

"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing the concern in her voice.

"Can you meet me at the Emergency entrance?" Meredith asked, "It's Addison."

"How long will it be till you get here?" he questioned, panic flaring in his voice. The name Addison and emergency would bring panic to anyone in the hospital.

"Ten minutes, tops," Meredith answered, "I'll see you then." Hanging up the phone, Meredith pressed the gas harder, causing the car to jolt forward into higher speeds. Meredith was so thankful that Addison had called her, but sighed. For Addison's sake she wished that things could just go back to how they were before Meredith found her throwing up in the bathroom that day.

------

"She has a fever," Meredith explained as the chief lifted Addison out of the car, "She was passed out when I found her. Its really high, shes burning up."

"Start her on I.Vs," Richard ordered the nurses who took the sides of the gurney, "If that doesn't help we may have to give her an ice bath. Then run tests and rule out any infections."

As the nurses took Addison away, Meredith took one deep breath and sighed, putting her hands on her head and sinking towards the ground. This was not the way she expected her life to turn out. She could feel tears spring to her eyes. A few months ago she would never have guessed that she would've been so close with Addison and Derek, both as friends.

"Are you okay?" the chief asked, "You were the one who had to find her, and I'm grateful you did when you did."

"I'm...fine," Meredith lied, giving him a half-hearted smile, "It has just been a hard past few months. But not nearly as hard for me as they've been for Addison."

"I understand," the chief asked, "Why don't you park the car and go check on Addison?"

"Okay," Meredith nodded, "Is she in the ICU?"

"Yes," the chief frowned, looking at his pager, "They are having a hard time controlling her fever. She has overworked herself for the past month during this. Chemo is taking more out of her than she realizes."

"Should I call Derek?" Meredith asked weakly, thinking of Derek. She hated thinking about Derek, she always felt extremely guilty.

"Yes," the chief nodded, "I'm pretty sure he'd want to be up there with her."

Meredith tried not to frown, she knew that Addison needed support but the thought of Derek at Addison's bedside still unfortunately brought memories into Meredith's head.

Dialing the familiar number, Meredith listened to the ringing in the phone.

"Hey," Derek answered, "I just got out of - "

"Derek!" Meredith cried, "I don't care about whatever you're about to tell me. Your wife, she is up in the ICU."

"What?" he asked, "Where are you? How do you know?"

"I found her," Meredith sighed, "She called me to come over and when I got there she was passed out. She can't be home alone anymore Derek."

"Where are you?" he repeated, causing Meredith to frown.

"Why does it matter where I am?" he heard her voice, turning around he was face-to-face with Meredith.

"I need you to come upstairs with me to see her," Derek ran a hand through his hair, taking another step towards Meredith, wrapping her in a bear hug.

"Let's go see her," Meredith slowly let go, taking in his unforgiving scent, "She needs us. She needs you." The words tingled on Meredith's lips...they both needed him.

------

"Addie?" Meredith called into the room, watching her friend's eyes slowly flutter open, "Oh God, Addison."

"Hey," she whispered hoarsely, taking in her condition as well as taking in Derek and Meredith standing together, "What happened?"

"You have a virus," Meredith explained, "It made you get a really high fever and you passed out. Luckily you called me right before you passed out."

"Oh geeze," she sighed, leaning back against the pillows, life was unforgiving.

"Hey baby," Derek smiled to her, walking towards the bed and taking her frail hand in his, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a train," she admitted, taking a deep breath, "I feel awful."

"They've been poking you and prodding you for a while," Derek shrugged, "Your body has been fighting hard, Addison. I'm confident in its ability to keep fighting."

"Ugh," Addison sighed, turning over on her side to face the two, "Thanks for being there."

Meredith and Derek both looked at each other awkwardly, not knowing exactly who she was aiming the comment at. The sickness of Addison was bringing down the whole hospital and it showed in the eyes of the two.

"Addison," Derek took her hand in his, "Just get some sleep. I can see the concern etched in your face."

"I'm fine," she grunted, "Emotionally at least."

"I don't buy it for a second," Meredith smiled, "Just sleep Addie, just sleep."

"I just hate worrying everyone all the time," she frowned, "I hate how many people spend their days worrying about me."

"Addison," Derek sat down next to her, "Just breathe and sleep. Everyone here loves you."

"Whatever," she scrunched up her nose and kissed him softly on the lips, causing Meredith to grimace internally.

"Things will be fine Addie," Meredith piped from the corner.

"I'm holding that to you Grey."

------


End file.
